Thursday, December 25, 2008

YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

To say my neighbor "watches" television 24/7 isn't totally correct. There's no way she's watching all that shit, I don't even think she's home half the time. Last night, J claimed that he heard the Harry Potter dvd menu soundtrack for 2 hours before she started the movie. Yesterday I heard her talking on the phone, and she speaks just as loud as she listens. Sometimes I am able to watch entire shows with out even turning on my television. I just base it off what I can hear, and my memory of the particular episode. Today she is "watching" Murray Povich. Does anyone else think it hurts Connie Chungs credibility to be married to him?

Additionally, my neighbor across the hall has a karaoke system. He gently wakes me in the morning, and lulls me to sleep every night. By that I mean he screams the lyrics to that "Too Close" song by Next, the one I remember from Jr. High that I think might be about getting a boner. Somedays he sings Prince, other days it's Britney Spears. He's going to be a star, I can feel it. 

I was thinking of making a recording- One side of the lady next door, the other of across the hall. I would play it as loud as my stereo would allow before I left the house for the day. I would probably title it "You have no idea how embarrassing you are."

For Christmas, I painted J (per his accidental request a long time ago) a golden disc of two panthers having sex. here it is:


the pictures aren't so great, but you get the gist. For those interested, it's made of wood, acrylic, krylon, gold leaf, and swarovski crystals.

Friday, December 5, 2008

hold my calls

I always like finding an empty classroom to work in on my lunch break and pretending it's my private office.